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By Katja van Koten

“o no, that’s way out of my comfort zone!”

Back in 2011 I joined a Toastmasters* club in London to improve my public speaking skills. One of the key principles of any public Toastmasters club is that guests are always welcome. And at every  meeting we have a lot of guests. And one of the things I often hear our guests say is that public speaking is ‘out of their comfort zone’.

Now I’m a bit uncomfortable with that term ‘comfort zone’. It implies to me a place that makes you feel good, or relaxed, or happy? Like taking a bath, a get together with friends or a good gym session (that last bit could be just me…). To me ‘comfort’ in combination with ‘zone’ feels confined and restricted.

Recently I was reading an anecdote about a woman who decided to clean her fishbowl. She filled her bath tub with water and placed her fish in tub. After she cleaned the bowl she returned to the tub. She noticed that her fish were swimming in the same little circle as if they were still in the fishbowl. Because that was their comfort zone, right? What they were familiar with, what they knew. Apart from the fact you shouldn’t keep fish in a small fishbowl, we should not keep going in that little circle. We should not limit ourselves and stay in, what I like to call, our discomfort zone. In fact that zone beyond is our true comfort zone. The place where we can shine, progress and move forward, with little steps, or bigger steps.

Think about it; every time you venture outside your familiar zone, how does it feel? Apart from a little unease at the beginning, but that’s just that, a little unease, your old limitations clinging onto you shouting “Don’t leave me!”. If you are really honest, it feels quite good so outside these imaginary boundaries. Perhaps it even feels exciting or free? That’s what happens if you get out of your discomfort zone. When you decide to get out of your fishbowl and swim in the full tub of your potentials!

For more info about my coaching services please click here

Send me an email to book your first FREE coaching session: katja@sparklingspeech.com

This 20-minutes session is a non-obligation, complimentary session that gives us an opportunity to get to know each other, build rapport, set expectations for working together and decide on next steps.

I look forward to hear from you!

*Toastmasters International is a world leader in communication and leadership development. The organisation has more than 345,000 members in more than 15,900 clubs in 142 countries. Since 1924, Toastmasters has helped people of all backgrounds become more confident in front of an audience. For more information please go to Toastmasters International

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By Katja van Koten

Many moons ago I was a goalkeeper in field hockey. I wore extensive protective gear, like a helmet, foamed leg guards, and big gloves. I wasn’t too bad. As any keeper I had my strengths and weaknesses. A particular strength of mine was stopping the ball with my stick. Either I stopped the ball with my stick and kicked it away, or I redirected the ball with my stick. But my major weakness were the soft balls, the balls that came at low speed and should be o so easy to stop …. Not so. My impatience could not handle this, I couldn’t focus… That was the ‘weakness’ so to speak, not the soft balls. Those easy balls weren’t important enough, until I missed one. But of course it did matter. It affected my confidence not only with every soft ball I missed, but also the ones I clumsy managed to stop.

The same is true for your next presentation.

If you arrive last minute, rush in as you’re running late and start straight away you could probably manage. But would you feel relaxed?

If you don’t spend a little extra care on your power point slides and during your presentation you notice they are not in the good order, you would probably manage. But would you feel comfortable?

If you don’t check if your mic is working before your presentation and as soon as you start you notice something is wrong, you would probably manage. You can make a joke with the AV technician on site, and even share a laugh with your audience. Silly me! But would you feel at the top of your game from the start?

Question is do you want to be able to manage, or do you want to be your best self and sparkle? If you want to be your best self, than these little things, these easy things, do matter. Perhaps it doesn’t matter for the audience, who might not even notice your ‘mistakes’ most of the time. But it certainly matters for yourself, because you do notice them.

The funny thing is if you take care of these little things, if you stop the soft balls, you will feel more confident sharing your message. And then you will make the bigger saves!

How will you be your best self for your next presentation?

For more info about my public speaking coaching services please click here

Send me an email to book your first FREE coaching session: katja@sparklingspeech.com

This 20-minutes session is a non-obligation, complimentary session that gives us an opportunity to get to know each other, build rapport, set expectations for working together and decide on next steps.

I look forward to hear from you!

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